Thursday, February 02, 2006

Ice Ice Babies

Ok, I'll be honest, I'm not a huge hockey fan. Something about the 20 minute intervals between periods, the recent lock out, and the lack of cheerleaders. Wait, what's that? Hockey has cheerleaders now? Well, I know at least the Tampa Bay Lightning do. Now, I'm not saying this is going to push me to start following the NHL; far from it, but it's definetly a push in the right direction.

As pointless as cheerleaders are, they are still a smart thing for the hockey teams to have. I went to the recent Tampa Bay vs Toronto game in Tampa (the tickets were free and they were 12 rows from the glass. Not that that is a valid excuse, but that's as close as it gets to a decent one) where Tampa won in a shootout (the shootouts were a genius idea by the way. At least one good thing came out of the lockout). They had their "Ice Girls", who are actually sponsored by a local jewelry store, outside before the game posing for pictures, taking surveys, and passing out general hockey-related information. They were basically just a really attractive promotional staff. I mean, a professional sports team has to hire a promo team anyway, why not make them really, really, incredibly good looking? This was probably the best way to get around the whole "equal opportunity" hiring laws.

Inside the Lighting marketing board room: "Okay. We know that people hate when ugly people ask them questions and try to give them stuff. How can we give people boring hockey information and pointless crap related to hockey and not have people hate it?"

" Wait! I've got it! Hire hot young college girls to pose as cheerleaders and pay them as little as possible?"

" Great idea!"

"Wait, let's also double them as rink cleaners between periods!"

"Two birds with one stone! I like it!"

Next time I go I expect to see a human pyramid in the middle of the rink between the 1st and 2nd periods.

wait....next time?

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