Tuesday, March 28, 2006

Can't Get Enough Of That Wonderful Duff(y)

Smell that? It's the smell of another fantasy baseball draft. Can't smell it? Well, you shouldn't be reading this then.

OK, so as I mentioned before, Game Four has two official fantasy baseball teams. We just drafted our second of the two, which was put together by SportsBlah. I have to say, not much different than the last draft. The team came out a little different, but the draft itself was pretty standard. So this time around I'm not going to dissect our picks by round or tell you why we made them and why they're so great. Instead, I'm going to take the opposite route and tell you why this team is going to end up being so horrible. (Keep in mind we had the 11th overall pick in a 12-team league. The league is hosted on ESPN.com. Roto style. 5x5. Daily line up changes. yada yada yada.) Here goes:

C-Joe Mauer (5th round)
We took a catcher in the 5th round. First mistake. Mike Barrett was picked in the 23rd round! Brian McCann wasn't drafted at all! Sure Mauer could end up being the best catcher in all of fantasy baseball this year, but 5th round?!

1B - Chris Shelton (13th round)
Here is our starting first baseman. A guy playing for the Tigers! I'm excited. We waited until the 13th round to get a 1B. I know it's a deep position but c'mon. Anyone picked in the 13th round isn't going to carry your team.

2B - Chase Utley (2nd round)
Can anyone say fluke? Ya, Utley can't either. Saying anything bad about this is going to be difficult. Maybe would have fallen to 3rd...no, sorry..can't do it. I'm real happy we got him.

3B - Chipper Jones (7th round)
He's 34 years old and playing with little kids in Atlanta. Not sure how many RBI or Runs he's produce or if he'll stay in the field all year. Though with Andy Marte not breathing down his neck he may be alright. Ladies and gentlemen...I give you our starting third baseman.

SS - Jhonny Peralta (4th round)
Who? Where the hell this did this guy come from last year? Possible fluke. Possible next coming of Miguel Tejada. Who knows?

OF - Miguel Cabrera (1st round), Adam Dunn (3rd round), Willy Taveras (9th round), Curtis Granderson (14th round), Chris Duffy (22nd round)
Cabrera gives you everything but stolen bags, but with the adjusted line up in Florida I'm not sure how much his numbers will improve even if his ability goes up. Dunn will single handedly kill the team's average. Taveras makes up for the SB not given to us by Miggy, but adds little to nothing else to the equation. Granderson is risky, may not produce they way we want him to this year (good keeper pick though...too bad it's not a keeper league!), Duffy will probably be cut if he doesn't steal us 10 bags by late May.

2B/SS - Ian Kinsler (15th round)
Rookie. Not known for his power or speed. Could be the next Eric Hinske. I'm excited!

1B/3B - Ryan Zimmerman (19th round)
Rookie. Spent a whole 85 days in the minors. Could be a superstar, just probably not this year.

Util - Dallas McPherson (23rd round)
The guy batted .244 last year. Not too promising. Isn't your UTIL guy supposed to be a really good hitter. Man, what are we thinking?

Bench - Delmon Young (21st Round)
He's not even on an active roster! We drafted a guy that's not even going to be in the majors on opening day? Why not draft Felix Pie and Joel Guzman too?! Ya, we really want to win this huh?

Oh ya, and we drafted Luis Gonzalez from Colorado thinking he was eligible for every position like he is in Yahoo, but instead he was only eligible at 2B. He was quickly dropped from the roster and no one is yet to take his place.

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P - Barry Zito (6th round), Josh Beckett (8th round), Danny Haren (10th round), Jose Valverde (11th round), Scott Kazmir (12th round), Justin Verlander (16th round), Chris Ray (17th round), Oliver Perez (18th round), Scot Shields (20th round), Kris Benson (24th round)
IF Zito keeping going with what he was doing in the second half last year. IF Beckett stays healthy. IF Haren keeps it up. IF Valverde keeps his job. IF Kazmir gets some wins. IF Verlander lives up to the hype. IF Ray is as good as BJ Ryan was. IF Perez doesn't get in another fight with a laundry cart. IF K-Rod gets hurt and Shields takes over. IF Benson learns anything from Leo Mazzone. IF all these things happen the staff will actually be ok. Some big IF's in there.

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I guess someone forgot to tell us this wasn't a keeper league.

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